Betsy Bartemus, A Mother of Pastors and a Lover of People

[This short biography of Betsy Bartemus was written by Anna Greeley with the help of College Park pastors Don and Joe Bartemus.]

Our mother was born Betsy Ross in California on May 1, 1928. She was the only daughter in the mix of one younger and four older brothers. Her dad worked in a florine (linoleum tile) factory and her mom was a house wife. 

In 1951, the man she loved got drafted and told her that if she wanted to come with him they would need to get married, and that is what they did. It was November, 1951 and Joe and Betsy Bartemus were now husband and wife. In 1952, they welcomed their first child, Sharon, into the world. Joseph was born in 1954 and Donald in 1955.

After the war, Dad worked for a company that supplied brakes for trains, which led to a management position in Baltimore. Joe has a model of a brake-shoe in his office that reminds him of his father’s hard work that provided for all of the family’s material needs as well as the treasured privilege of a Christian education. 

Betsy grew up a liberal Baptist just outside of Boston. There was no time when mom was confronted with Jesus in a saving way, but it was a good, moral upbringing. We do not know the exact details of her conversion.

After she married, she began attending a Southern Baptist Church. It was there that Jesus claimed her heart, and my dad was soon to follow. It would radically change their lives and as kids we never knew them as unsaved people. Her faith was very influential in all aspects of her life as we saw her faith lived out.

She became the choir director and pianist after her salvation. She was trained in music, both in voice and piano and did very well. The sweet way she sang her signature song, “He Could Have Called 10,000 Angels," made her the favorite Easter soloist in their small church. She sang it every year.

Our mom was very involved in the faith of her kids and grandkids. One of the most significant evidences of that was the way she pursued Christian education for us. In the 60’s in Maryland the closest Christian school was 50 miles away. She drove that distance each day to take us and other friends to school for 11 years in an International Harvester truck, the precursor to the SUV. It was a sacrifice that spoke volumes and provided a lot of time with us kids in the car and at school.

She was an incredibly submissive wife and my dad often spoke to that as he grew older. This aspect of her character affected him deeply. Dad had a loving hand in her care when she was in her late 50’s and she became very ill with chronic fatigue from a hepatitis infection. His tender care for her was prompted because, as he said, “She did this for me” in the way she served him throughout their marriage.

Betsy was well educated and went to nursing school in Boston to become an RN. As a nurse, she would walk fast, working all the time. She was a nurse when the kids were in Christian school and at one point also taught French. She went the extra mile and even worked during our college and seminary years to help pay the bills.

As is the heart of many nurses, she did not seek her own, but the good of others, particularly her family. We never saw her spending time on selfish desires, and she never asked for alone time. She fixed breakfast every morning, supper every evening, drove 100 miles every day and she never complained. She took care of us in every way.

She was very approachable, however, and a cutthroat game player. Whatever the game--Skip Bo, UNO--she wouldn't let you win. She would play with anyone who was willing to take the challenge.

Betsy was always concerned about getting the Bible into the hearts of her family, both children and grandchildren. She loved to go to theology classes. She was a big J.I. Packer and R. C. Sproul fan. She loved deep study and found real life from it. She was a faithful user of Spurgeon's “Morning and Evening” devotional.

In College Park she did Titus 2, a discipleship ministry for women and spent time with other widows. She was tenacious in her friendships through thick and thin.

Whoever mom was with she was with them. She would ask deep questions with follow up. She was exceptional in her ability to be relational and to actively love people. When you were with her, you were the person that mattered. She wasn’t distracted by anything around. People were the priority, stuff wasn’t.

She loved jokes. She always tried to remember them but would forget the punch line. She finally started to write the jokes down on napkins, bits of paper, anything she could find. She was very endearing. She was committed and loyal to many, many women, even when relationships were difficult.

She loved to get gifts. The last gift she got in her mid-70’s was a TV from her kids. She was almost giddy because she understood what it means to give a gift: it is giving part of yourself, with a wish to bring the other joy. She was a giver at heart and went out of her way to bring that joy to countless others in her lifetime.

Our father died when she was in her early 60’s and he was 63. They were “clicking” as a retired couple with great dreams. He died unexpectedly and she was left alone. It was a huge trial and she struggled with singleness until she died in her 70’s. Even through this trial she was always faithful to the Lord and used every opportunity to show Christ’s love to others. She never lost the joy of His abiding presence.

If we were to sum up any words of wisdom she might share, she would say to get into the Word and don't be shallow. Persevere and don't give up. Life is not always easy, but He is worth it.

She died on June 12, 2003.